Show Love Using the 5 Love Languages
Our Back Story
"I don't feel that he loves me! He's not exerting effort on me!"
"I'm doing my best, but it doesn't seem to be enough! I don't know what else to do!"
If these lines are familiar to you, they are to me and my husband Natz as well. This is why we know how important it is to show love using the 5 love languages.
When we were starting off with our relationship, there was conflict or misunderstanding in terms of how love is expressed and received. After a long day at work, Natz would be such a sweet boyfriend by buying me a cup of Dakasi milk tea (my favorite!) and drop it off at my house (which is not at all along the way)...and yet I'd still complain that he doesn't spend enough time with me. I'd be a supportive girlfriend--assisting Natz with his homework and giving him pasalubong & baon whenever possible...and yet he'd feel so unloved even with just one little nag from me. It was crazy. We were fighting almost everyday, and had thoughts if it was even worth sticking to the relationship.
Most couples who'd have such conflicts would probably call it quits. But, we are SO THANKFUL that we were led to apply what we already knew regarding the FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES.
It's not a new concept, nor is it something that we invented. It's been around for a while and Natz & I already knew about it in theory, but we failed to put it to full use so as to help our relationship.
We don't want that to happen to you, so we are here to help give some Christian relationship advice on how you can show love using the love languages.
What are the FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES?
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five ways that we express and experience love. Similar to how we all mean the same thing when we say "one" (English), "uno" (Spanish), "isa" (Filipino), "hana" (Korean), we can mean "love" but just have different ways of showing it.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
Expressing love and appreciation through verbal communication or written language.
This is likely your language if you enjoy: compliments, love notes, encouragement, thank you's
RECEIVING GIFTS
Showing thoughtfulness and effort by giving tangible things that express that "I care" and that "I'm thinking of you"
This is likely your language if you enjoy: small tokens, surprise during special days, someone remembering & giving your favorites
QUALITY TIME
Uninterrupted and focused time together for conversations or shared experiences with undivided attention.
This is likely your language if you enjoy: one-on-one time, date nights, special moments, doing things with one another
PHYSICAL TOUCH
Loving non-sexual touch to show closeness, presence and concern (if recepient allows)
This is likely your language if you enjoy: a back rub, a friendly kiss, holding hands, a long hug, having someone's arms on your shoulder
ACTS OF SERVICE
Actions that inted to help lessen the burden or the responsibility, and assist with tasks at hand
This is likely your language if you enjoy: having some help you with chores and errands, getting pampered, hearing "let me help you with that"
How can I show love using the five love languages in my relationship?
The great thing about this concept of the FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES is that it doesn't only apply to romantic relationships. You can also put it to good use for your family or your friends.
We suggest this process to show love using the five love languages:
Let your love tank be filled by love from the Lord first. It's important that He is your primary source of love--and not your partner or loved one. Your relationship with the Lord is the MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP YOU SHOULD HAVE.
Know your giving and receiving love language, and share this with your partner/loved one.
Know your partner/loved one's giving and receiving love language.
Seek to appreciate efforts by your partner/loved one to express love towards you in their giving love language.
Seek to express love towards your partner/loved one in their desired receiving love language.
Practical Examples on How to Show Your Love Based On The Five Love Languages
Here are some suggestions and ideas on how you can show love to someone based on their love language:
Are you a wife stuck in 'lockdown' with your husband? Here are other ideas particular to your situation:
Free Love Language Worksheet
We hope that this helps you show love using the FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES in your relationships! And, as a gift, we have a FREE WORKSHEET for you!
Use this to help improve how you relate with others. Here's what you can find inside:
1. Stuff for you to answer and to track
2. A shorthand explanation of the FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES
3. Printable version of the ideas & suggestions for each love language!
Again, it's FREE for you to download -- fill out the form below and CHECK YOUR EMAIL (esp. the SPAM folder!). Just please let us know if this helped you in anyway :)
Let's keep on loving as God keeps on loving us!
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